The Unhappy hill :/

[Macha]

First I had headache during the day and now I feel dizzy. I hope it'll get better over the weekend.
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Saber Rider

[Grania]

I don't want to start moaning but I'm so fed up with everything related to university at the moment that I'm considering leaving more seriously than I have yet I think...which is doing nothing to cheer me up. I just don't know what to do. I can't really leave, but I feel as though I'm in totally the wrong place doing completely the wrong thing
I'm also feeling very trapped at the moment, quite literally, and there's nothing I can do about it
_________________
Music and friendship - the answer to life's problems.

I heard Your voice
Whisper to the wild water
Step By Step
Slowly I turn - Máire Brennan

[A_S]

(((((((((((((((Grania)))))))))))))))) Maybe it is time to step back and analyze this university thing, cost-benefit analysis style. Is this short-term unhappiness (ok, 1.5 years, but still short-term in the big picture) going to lead to a valuable long-term reward, like a better job and an opportunity to live out your dream of working in a historical house? If you do not finish your degree, will you regret it later? Or, is the current unhappiness and anxiety stronger than the rewards that your degree will provide? That question really should be the deciding factor in whether or not you stick it out. If the degree will be worth this temporary suffering, then you should finish it. If not, then there is no reason to continue. Don't worry about what other people think, or what you "should" do. Consider whether or not this continuing is worth it to you.

Perhaps there is also room for a little bit of thinking outside the box. Is there another university, perhaps closer to home, that you can transfer to? Could you take a leave of absence after this year and return later to finish up? Maybe the time would be more bearable in small chunks. Is there a way to earn an online degree, either through your university or elsewhere? Is there any chance of changing your course of study to something that you like better, like history? Would planning on going on to graduate school or professional give you any more flexibility in your studies now? Have you talked to your parents, adult friends, and advisors about your current situation? What trajectories did some of their careers follow? Lots of people start in one direction, find out that they hate it, and then change to something that they love. Maybe someone else's story can help you.

If nothing else, you are half way done. You have made it this far, and it hasn't been easy. You can get through the rest, get your degree, and get on with your life, with university as nothing but a fading memory. There's a window in one of our colleges that says, "Someday, perhaps, it will be pleasant to remember all of this." I thought that it was pretty funny, especially in a school that professes to have the happiest undergrads around. But perhaps it will.

[Eternal_Silence]

(((((((Grania))))))) I'm sorry you feel that way, though it sounds quite familiar. I've been seriously considering leaving university as well, but I've been thinking about my reasons for staying and reasons for leaving and decided to at least stick it out until I have my bachelor and then I'll see what I'll do next. I think what A_S said is quite helpful. It might be a good idea to look around for something that suits you more or take a short break to think about what you want. Do you know the exact reasons for why you would like to stop? Maybe there are some factors beside university that make you feel not so happy which make you think university is the reason. (Does that make sense?).
I think many people eventually start thinking about what they actually want and can become quite confused about it. I know I am. And I've heard many people at my studies say they are too.
I hope whatever decision you will make will be the right one and that you will not regret it later on. If ever you want to talk about it, you can always PM/mail/msn me .
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The turn of the day, when all music fools come out to play until the drunk turn of night.
www.singingriver.deviantart.com

[A_S]

Yeah, I think that university and all of the associated changes (moving away from home, meeting all new people, undertaking a new course of study) lead to a lot of introspection and confusion for everyone. I am certainly more confused than ever about where I want to go with my education. Like Marlies, I am starting to think that I may not go beyond my bachelor's straight-away after all. Who knows. And a major in Classical Civilisation is sounding more and more appealing even though I am "supposed" to study geology or physics or engineering or statistics...

I think that Marlies is right in saying that perhaps university is not the whole problem, but rather a scapegoat for a different anxiety that you don't know how to express, such as confusion as to where you are going in life or something.

And good luck to you in your soul searching as well, Marlies! I hope that you find that you have made the best decision!

[Dab051176]

(((((((((((((((((Everyone with university traumas!)))))))))))))))))

@G - Have you considered doing a different type of course? I know I've tried to keep you going, but if things are getting this bad, as A_S says, you really need to think about whether it's worth the hassle. If for example, somewhere does a Higher National Diploma, you'll still have a decent qualification without putting yourself through the ordeal of doing the work involved for a full degree. You might also get credit for the work you've already done at Winchester.

I'm living proof that having a degree (or two in my case! ) doesn't necessarily give you an automatic head start - if it did, then I wouldn't be doing the job I am! That said, I'm not an expert on these things, so I really would get some advice from someone who knows about these things before you make a final decision.

Hope it works out for you - whatever you decide...
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Dave

From Wales...via Birmingham!!!!

[Grania]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate all the thought that's gone into your posts

Maybe I'm making a fuss about nothing...I think I'm thinking too much, but I've just been tired of everything recently, and at every turn uni manages to dredge up something new. Today I got an e-mail saying that I've got 3 all-day lectures next week (a week before lectures officially start), the e-mail was worded as though I knew all about it ages ago, and know what they mean when they talk about a conference......and this is the first I've heard about anything like either of them
_________________
Music and friendship - the answer to life's problems.

I heard Your voice
Whisper to the wild water
Step By Step
Slowly I turn - Máire Brennan

[Grania]

Anyone surprised that I'm here again?

I'm not going to go into serious rant mode now, I've already done that once this evening (sorry ness, your pm got to me at juuuust the wrong moment), but I'm not only still a bit fed up with my course, but now seriously worried about it as well..... and unfortunately it's not something I can control.
_________________
Music and friendship - the answer to life's problems.

I heard Your voice
Whisper to the wild water
Step By Step
Slowly I turn - Máire Brennan

[Dab051176]

(((((((((((((((((G)))))))))))))))))))) That doesn't sound good.....

I'm not going to ask you to post what's happened, but if it's beyond your control, then you may just have to let things take their course.

I know this doesn't stop the worrying, and it's not what you want to hear, but all you can do is concentrate on the stuff you can control. As long as you're doing your bit (which I've no doubt you are), then no-one can ask any more of you.

Don't forget you've got plenty of people here who will support you - I'm sure between us we can get you through it!
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Dave

From Wales...via Birmingham!!!!

[Kate]

(((((G)))))))) sorry you're having a hard time at uni and with your course. I'm glad to see you've had some support and advice here. It's good to have places to vent our frustrations and worries and even better when there are friends we can lean on for support.

I'm not really unhappy but I am tired out. I haven't slept properly (meaning hardly at all for two nights in a row now). Probably due to my stressing and worrying (hopefully for nothing). On top of everything else on my mind, etc, I put a load in the clothes dryer last night after getting home from a long day away. Then it started making the most awful noise. I am now worried about it overheating so I won't use it until someone comes and looks at it Saturday.

Dinner and bed I think (and start another book if I can keep my eyes open).

[Grania]

(((((((((Kate)))))))))) I know what that feels like. I know when you're worrying there's not a lot anyone else can say that will help - but you do have my sympathy.

((((((((((((Dave))))))))))))))) Thanks In short, the problem is that I've got a lot of group work projects, it seems, this term, with the other two girls in my group. After our last effort I'm not too optimistic about this anyway, but after yesterday's lecture with them....well, I feel really unreasonable and disloyal saying it, but I'm actually really worried about the effect this is going to have on my own grades I'm also once again rather frustrated with the lectures themselves. The assignments we've had have been challenging enough, but the lectures are the opposite. Either we're being told and then asked questions about something we've already looked at 3 or 4 times before (same questions), so that I've virtually got the answers memorised, or often the answers are just so obvious that I feel I could have worked them out when I was about 10. To top it all it's very rare that either of the other two in my group answers a question - it's nearly always me! I've reached the point now where sometimes I'll wait a certain amount of time before I answer, or a lot of the time I just don't because I'm so fed up with doing it! And as to the answer that one of the others gave to a question yesterday.....well, I hope my lecturer didn't hear because I think she'd cry to be honest.

I feel really mean saying all those things....but unfortunately...well

Sorry for the rant. That is actually the short version
_________________
Music and friendship - the answer to life's problems.

I heard Your voice
Whisper to the wild water
Step By Step
Slowly I turn - Máire Brennan

[Luned]

((((((((((((((((Grania))))))))))))))))))))) From what you've said here it looks like you're the best in your group! all those answers that you knew so well didn't seem to be that obvious to those other girls. Besides, it is the beginning of the term, isn't it? Sometimes teachers start with some easy things or those which has already been covered earlier because this knowledge will prove useful as a basis for some more advanced stuff later during the course. And then, as to your grades, I think your teachers will notice and remember the fact that you can answer their questions! Anyway, it's better to know all the answers rather than not even knowing where to start to catch up, isn't it I hope you will be fine with your assignments and you will find some more interesting things in your course later on. Chin up!

(((((((((((((((Kate))))))))))))))))) I hope you will feel better soon!

[Dab051176]

(((((((((((((Kate))))))))))))))) Hope you feel better soon!

((((((((((((G)))))))))))))))) I understand what you're saying, but bear in mind that even with group work, it's ultimately your contribution that usually carries the most weight, otherwise everyone would end up with the same grade!

If the lecturer is anything like decent, they should be aware of what you've done, and reward you for it. All you can do is the best you can with what you have. To put it very bluntly, you need to look after number one, even in this kind of situation to make that you get the credit you deserve. I know it's harsh, but I often found myself in a similar position to you at University, and found that this was the only real way to deal with the situation.

You'll get through it - hugs!
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Dave

From Wales...via Birmingham!!!!

[Grania]

I see what you mean Luned, unfortunately this is falling into the same pattern as similar modules last year and before Christmas....it makes me feel bored just thinking about it
_________________
Music and friendship - the answer to life's problems.

I heard Your voice
Whisper to the wild water
Step By Step
Slowly I turn - Máire Brennan

[Methica]

I'm not really happy because I got fired today
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*If I had a heart I could love you
If I had a voice I would sing*
Fever Ray - If I Had a Heart